The Problem with Perfectionism

SPOILER ALERT: I am a perfectionist. I love to play by the rules. It comforts me to know I am doing my best to be the best at anything I do.

{If you know me at all and have seen my car as of recent, you might be laughing at the above statement… but I promise this is true!!}

Huge issue: I am imperfect and live in an imperfect world, because sin exists.

We are all sinners. Anything outside of the Will of God is sin.

But what does sin look like?

Sin is the big things, like murder, adultery, impurity, jealousy, drunkenness, and so on. But, it is also the small things, like gossiping, anger, disobedience, selfishness, and fear. {See Galatians 5:19-21}

It is so important to first recognize that we all sin, each and everyday! But in the eyes of God, each of these sins is the same.

I can pretend that I do my best all the time, which only leaves me striving constantly, which is completely exhausting. Striving for the perfect job, perfect grades, perfect relationships, and a perfect life. The problem is, after the Garden of Eden, we inherited a sinful nature. We are separated from the perfect nature of Christ.

So what do we do from here?

First, we recognize that we are all sinners. Each and everyday we sin.

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”
-Romans 3:23

Next, we feel conviction and confess our sin.

“People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy”
-Proverbs 28:13

Now the best part, God forgives our sin. Just as we celebrated Jesus’s Resurrection from the grave last week, the Power of the Cross is important each and everyday. He bore the pain of each and every sin from then into eternity, so that he could break the curse of death. Now, we have a place in Heaven that He prepared, because DEATH {sin} HAS BEEN DEFEATED!

“But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in truth. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”
– 1 John 1:7-9

So all of these things are good news, right? So where does the problem of perfectionism come in?

Perfectionism is simply a synonym for pride. When we practice “good behavior”, we feel like we earn favor or love from God. Following the rules helps us feel better about ourselves. We become puffed up with superiority that we do not need a Savior. It feels better to rely on our own best behavior, because recognizing a Savior who can cover our sins threatens our control. {the behavior pattern of a perfectionist}

Perfectionism is a vicious cycle of self-righteousness and utter guilt, especially when sin is involved. As a perfectionist myself, I know that I believe I hold myself to an extremely high standard. I do my best to be the most loyal friend, the most obedient daughter, the hardest- working student, and so on. And while all these things are good on the outside, it leaves me self-righteous, that MY EFFORTS make me GOOD.

So what happens when I sin? Because, inevitably, I am going to disobey my parents. I am going to gossip about someone when I feel hurt. I am going to fear for my future. As a perfectionist, where does this leave me? In complete and utter shame and guilt. Because I cannot be perfect. And this shame is paralyzing. It prevents me from moving forward, and instead I can wallow in the fact that I did not do the right thing.

The problem with perfectionism is it leaves little room for the love language of our Savior:

GRACE.

I was never meant to be perfect. I was never designed to strive for blessings and good favor. I did not earn a thing; He graciously gave His life for an undeserving sinner. However, the world is all in the Lord’s hands, and He is big enough to take on the weight of my sins. HE CONQUERED DEATH, so that I could live in eternity with Him, singing {even if it’s off key} His praises!

My so-called “perfectionism” does NOT define me. When I mess up, my sin does not define me. He died on the cross to tell me otherwise. My sin is not a reflection of my character, my imperfections, or me. My sin is the reflection of a fallen world that Jesus will return and save one day.

I am more than my striving. I am more than my choices or my actions. I am more than the sins I commit on a daily basis.

I am a daughter of The One True King, and He has prepared a place for me.