Choices

I’m not one to make decisions swiftly.  In fact, I’m the kind who has to investigate every possible option and outcome until I even think of making a choice.  But, it’s the word the Lord has been speaking to me over the past few days.  There are a lot of choices being made every second of every day, and yet, not a single one of us know what we’re doing or how to handle any of this.  It can be completely overwhelming.  And to be honest, we’re all aching in so many different ways.  The cries of our hearts are unending and unrelenting as we step into what seems to be complete darkness.  But somehow, in the midst of this seemingly impossible situation, I have hope and assurance that His Faithfulness will see us through to the other side of this season.  I think that’s why He keeps speaking the word choice over my heart in the depths of my despair.  If the many challenges I’ve walked through have taught me anything, it’s that choosing to stand on His promises rather than my own sense of control are so worth it.

I can say this with confidence, because Jesus chose me first.  Naturally, I am a sinner separated from my Savior.  I choose comfort over calling, disobedience over daily devotion, and self over sacrifice.  But, Jesus chose me. In the midst of grasping for control, He graciously reminds me time and time again that He loves me and wants so much more than anything I can see just a few feet in front of me.  In the midst of my sin, the Almighty Father still chooses me, even when I don’t chose Him.  God chose to send His only son to save not only me, but each and every one of his children.

In thinking on the word choice, I put myself in Jesus’s shoes.  I imagine sitting on a throne in Heaven- where everyone is in perfect relationship with the Father and free of the pain of sin.  I imagine being surrounded by praise and feeling perfect love and joy.  And in that moment, I cannot imagine choosing death on a cross.  I cannot imagine choosing to be in the world and experiencing temptation, hurt, rejection, mockery, and more all at the hands of the people I came to rescue.  We learn in Hebrews 5:7-8,

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and He was heard because of His reverent submission.  Son though He was, He learned obedience from what he suffered.

The King of Kings and Lord of Lords intimately knows the pain I feel, because He felt it too.  He desired relief and wept but chose to fall on His knees to ask for mercy, recognizing that His Father is all powerful and all-knowing.  He pleaded to be spared from the agony that was to come but chose to trust in the greater purpose.  He made a choice to recognize who is in control in the midst of His pain.  He learned submission and obedience through the torment of the expected event to come.  And He was heard.  Still, He endured the trial and died the death we deserved.  But according to the purpose and plan of His Father, Jesus had hope for the day to come.  And on the third day, He rose again.  He defeated the sting of illness, sin, and death.  He chose hopefulness, because He knew the heart of the Father.  And the Father saved us from eternal death into eternal life.

In this time, I will choose to be obedient even in the midst of my tears and constant prayers, because I know His heart is for mine.  As the Lord has been speaking this word over me, He has given me the opportunity to make decisions each and every day knowing full well that He is ultimately in complete control.  During this season, our family has choices to make.  I ask that you fall on your knees and choose these with us:

Peace over panic.

Prayer over pity.

Surrender over sorrow.

Dependence over diagnosis.

Faith over fear.

Victory over victim.

xox

ellie